Shattered Hope
by kreecey
Summary: Regina finds herself on a mission to destroy the Snow Queens mirror. She is confident the cursed object won't affect her, but will her dark past come back to haunt her.


Regina runs her fingers over the rough entrance to the cave, the ice burning her fingertips with each passing second. It was cold, achingly so. The entire town had been blanketed in a thick layer of glittering snow, and Regina didn't think it could get any colder. But here she stands, in front of the Snow Queen's pale cave, the cold air surrounding her bringing an ache to her bones.

She had intended on making this journey by herself. She would march in, shatter that blasted cursed mirror, and go back to her life. The town would be safe, Henry would be safe, Robin would be safe. She hadn't intended to run into the un-Charmings. But she did, and they had insisted on accompanying her to the cave.

So here she was, standing in the entrance to the freezing cave with Snow and her precious prince planted a few feet behind her.

"You know Regina, this might not be such a good idea. I mean,you know what happened to Belle when she looked into the mirror." Snow's tone is laced with worry and bit of fear. Regina lets a long sigh slip through her teeth before she turns to face the princess.

"I've had a fair share of dealing with mirrors in my life. I don't think this one is going to get the better of me." Regina snarls, her fist clench at her sides. It was true. She had dealt with many mirrors in her lifetime, a looking glass through which she had pushed her own mother through and a magic mirror who had betrayed her when the other queen seemed to have a better opportunity for him, but never had she faced a mirror such as the one that resides in the cave in front of her. It would be a lie to say she wasn't slightly afraid. "Besides, I have to do this. If that mirror possess that snow rats magic, I may be able to change it to thaw Marian." Her voice cracks at the mention of the maid. "I have to do this." She repeats, her voice barely a whisper. She feels a hand come to rest on her shoulder.

"Just be careful, okay?" This time it's David who speaks up, stepping forward to stand beside Snow. "Henry needs you. And whether you want to believe it or not, Robin needs you, too." Regina stiffens at the mention of his name, sadness tearing at her heart like a knife, a knife she can not afford to bare right now.

"I almost believe that." She murmurs, never looking back to face the prince. She isn't sure whether he heard her or not, it doesn't matter anyway. She takes a tentative step forward as fear starts to settle in the pit of her stomach. _Get a hold of yourself! You're the queen, not her!_She shrugs her shoulders loosening the tight knots along her neck. _You can do this. _Magic surges through her veins as she flicks her wrist, a swirling purple cloud spreads out from her fingertips, enveloping her arms first, then her upper body, traveling around her until her whole body is surrounded by its crackling warmth. She revels in it, the few seconds the magic completely embodies her, warming her chilled skin. It almost feels like a wool blanket wrapped tightly around her, protecting her from the biting cold.

It's over much too fast. She watches the smoke drift away, some of it disappearing before it has the chance to escape into the chilly air. The last foggy tendril twist and turns before finally fading away. The warmth is gone, she's in the Snow Queens cave.

It's much too bright, the white walls, tables, and mirrors a horrifying contrast from her own dark vault. She hates it. "This is worse than Snows decorating." She snarls under her breath, walking a few paces forward to stand in front of a small table with a little draw jutting out of the front. "She's a slob too, just leaving drawers wide op-" Her breath catches in her throat as she peers down into the drawer. There's a piece of parchment inside, old and faded. The corners are curled and tattered as if it was wet and left in the sun to dry, only to bake with the extreme temperature change. But, that isn't what bothers her. It's what's on the wilted paper that has her mouth gaped open, her eyes frantic as they scan over the images that inhabit the scroll.

It's her. The parchment is covered in small pictures, each only about the size of a pinky finger. Each picture is a different person, all inhabitants of Storybrooke, all people she knows. Her hand comes to her mouth, fingers twitching slightly as she examines each face, placing a name to each one. Herself, Robin, Snow, David, Henry, Elsa, a young girl with red braids bearing a striking resemblance to the Queen of Arendelle. _That must be Anna_. But there's more. Rumple, Belle, Killian, Emma, Ruby, Marian. There are even a few faces she doesn't recognize. She runs her finger along the rough surface, stopping when she reaches Robin. She has no clue where the Snow Queen got these pictures but she remembers Robin in this photo, when that moment took place. She remembers sitting on the log, clutching Rumples letter in her hand as if it was a life line. It had been at one point in her life. Then Robin's there, comforting her, telling her she can beat her sister, telling her he believes in her. She shakes her head violently, chasing away the memory as a sly tear slips off of her lashes. She watches the tear fall, stutter through the air and land on the parchment, soaking into it and leaving a dark stain.

That's when she finally notices the X. She hadn't seen it before. No, she was sure it hadn't been there before. But it is now. A searing red"X" slashed sloppily over her picture. Her eyes wander over the page again, searching for any more of the harsh cross outs. There's one over Robin's face now, the red ink covering his beautiful blue eyes. There's one over Marian's face as well. That's all. Only three X's, strategically placed over three faces. But why? She doesn't have time to further examine the topic before a familiar voice breaks into her thoughts.

"Well, I thought you came here to look for me! Not to study some old parchment! Oh, I'm hurt!" The voice was filled with maniacal laughter, one that sent chills down Regina's spine. She noticed the goosebumps pricking at her skin for the first time. "I thought I was worth more than some ruddy old piece of paper!" She whirls on her heel, the mocking tone of the voice making her blood boil.

"Who are you!?" Regina growls, her hands tightening, ready to summon an angry fireball if necessary.

"Well, _dearie," _the voice mocks Rumple's harsh tone, and she can practically feel the anger coursing through her body like a poison, thick and toxic. "I'm you, only better." _The mirror. _She turns to the glass circle hanging peacefully on the wall, the only disturbance is her own reflection. But it isn't hers, its as if its its own being. A monster with a twisted heart marked by darkness.

"I don't have time for this!" Regina barks, heading towards the mirror with forceful steps.

"Oh! Somebody's tense!" The reflection throws its hand to its mouth, eyes widening in fake fear. Anger courses through Regina's whole body, magic crackling violently at her fingertips.

"It doesn't really matter what you think, you'll be shattered before you even have the chance to speak again." She flexes her fingers, a fireball roaring to life in her palm. She tries to ignore the warmth that spreads from the flames, she can't get comfortable. The mirror opens its mouth to speak again but Regina opens her palm, sending the flame hurtling angrily towards the glass. A smile pulls at her features as she is greeted with nothing but silence.

"Who's tense now?" Her laugh echoes off the cave wall as she turns to leave.

"I'd say you, still." Regina can feel her heart hammering against her ribs, the consistent beating echoing in her ears. "It's not going to be that easy, dear! Well, at least for you. It never really is easy, is it? It's always been like that, ever since you were a little girl."

Regina twist around to face the mirror, her heels clacking against the ice floor as she takes a few quick steps forward. "Do you actually think I'm going to listen to a reflection! You don't know me or anything about my life! And I will destroy you, if it is the last thing I do." Her lips curl into a harsh sneer as she repeats the words she hasn't said for years. Her sneer falls as the mirror laughs, shoulders shaking with the force.

"You aren't going to destroy me! You can't! And for the record, I know more about you than anyone. _I am you._"

"No you aren't! You aren't me!" Regina screams, her teeth gritting in agitation. _Calm down. Don't let it get in your head. _

The reflection shifts in the mirror, holding out its arms as if to prove to her that yes, it is Regina. "Oh but darling, I am! Don't you understand? I'm your fears, your pain, your insecurities. I know everything about you. Every excruciating detail, like the fact that you know deep down inside that your mother, she didn't want you. She wanted _royalty. _You were just her ticket." Regina's heart seems to tighten in her chest, beating angrily out of control.

"Shut up! Shut up! That's not true!" Her eyes sting as she fights to hold back the tears sliding to the surface.

"You know it is!" The mirror raises its voice, shaking the glass slightly. "You've always felt that way, Regina! Why do you think she named you that? It means queen! That's what she wanted from you, not for you!" A brutal tear slides down her cheek, burning her skin against the biting chill in the air.

"I've left my past exactly where it belongs! In the past! None of it matters anymore!" Her voice shakes and strains against her rising emotions.

"Oh, so you'd prefer to talk about the present?" Another harsh laugh, "Well that's the best part!" It's her voice, she recognizes it, butit's so harsh, so bitter and cold. She wonders if this is how she was as the Evil Queen. "It's actually quite funny, Regina, you actually think all these people trust you? I mean you only tried to murder Snow for how many years? And you took her prince away from her on more than one occasion! Oh, and let's not forget that curse! The one that separated not only them, but everyone else from the people they loved for 28 years. How could you possibly think they would trust you, let alone be your family. Not when you broke apart theirs." The reflection shakes its head, its mouth parting in a quiet chuckle. "Still so naive, maybe not innocent, but still naive."

Regina reaches forward with a start, her mind reeling, head throbbing with a dull ache. _Don't let it get in your head. _She finds her support on the edge of a table, closer to the mirror then she finds comfortable. "Stop! Just stop! You don't know what you're talking about! I've have spent the last 3 years of my life trying to change, trying to be a better person-" The mirror cuts her off.

"And look at what good it's done you! How many times has your son abandoned you in those last three years!? How many times has he called you evil, called you a monster!? Your own son tried to get away from you! And you think you've changed?! Don't fool yourself. You're nothing but a cold, dark monster! Why don't you just give in to who you really are, Regina?" The voice of the reflection is louder now, so much louder. It echoes in her head, vibrating her skull until her hands fly to her ears, covering them as she violently shakes her head.

"No! No, no, no, no…" Tears stream down her face, creating salty trails that sting like needles as the cold air touches them with its pricking fingers. "I can't lose Henry! No! No!" She closes her eyes, a horrible attempt to ebb the flow of tears. She hopes, prays, that maybe when she opens them, she'll be in her own home, leaning against Robin on her couch. She hopes Roland and Henry are sitting together, playing a game of Go Fish. But when she shuts her eyes, she is greeted by a new scene.

Henry is there. He's staring at her, eyes wide and horrified. "Henry…" Her voice is hoarse as she murmurs her sons name.

"No! Get away from me! Stay away! You're a monster! I hate you!" Henry backs away, holding his hands in front of him. She tries to go after him, tries calling him back to her, but every step she takes towards him, he takes two away. And he's disappearing, slipping off into a distant fog.

"HENRY! HENRY, PLEASE!" She falls to her knees, the gravelly road scraping against the smooth skin on her legs. The pain jolts her, her eyes fly open and she's greeted by none other than her own horrid reflection.

"He never loved you, Regina, he never will. No one ever will. Not even Robin." It hits Regina like an arrow, snagging into her skin and ripping through her heart. Her fingers lose their vice grip on the spindly legged table and she stumbles back blindly, collapsing onto her knees in a heaping mess, her shoulders shaking with sobs she has been trying so hard to hold back. "He didn't choose you! He chose his wife! You were a distraction, someone to help him get over his grief. His son needed a mother, you were foolish enough to believe he actually wanted love. He is just like Leopold, Regina! He doesn't love you, he never has!" The mirror pauses, watching her sink to the ground, no longer fighting the tears or the gut wrenching pain that rips through her. She feels like she is being torn to pieces. Her sobs echo of the cave walls. "For who could ever love a monster?"

It's almost as if the reflection's word trigger something, summon it from deep down within her. A cold, long since buried in her past, rising to the surface. A cold that protected her from pain, heartache, and love when she called herself "Evil". It starts in her heart, spreading until it reaches her head, her fingertips, her toes, until finally its completely engulfed her, silencing her sobs. Its like a blanket, but cold, tight, and unyielding. She can't feel the buzzing ache in her head anymore, she can't feel anything. She's buzzing with a new energy, something dark, something she doesn't want. But she can't stop it. She feels the cold crawling up her neck, sending goosebumps up her skin. She closes her eyes and tilts her head back as if that will slow down what she knows is coming. _Goodbye, Henry, Goodbye, Robin. I love both of you, even if you don't love me. _And then its over. The cold has engulfed her completely, leaving her heart hollow, an empty void where love had filled it only a few hours before. Regina opens her eyes, a gasp escaping her lips she did not know she was holding. Her fingers fumble blindly for the edge of the table, seeking its firm support as she stands on shaky legs.

She sees her reflection again. It's changed and she knows that it has changed to match her own appearance, she knows that they truly are the same now, and not just by how they look. The reflection looks beaten, its eyes are bloodshot, tear tracks blended with smeared make up decorate its cheeks. But something is in its eyes, something dark that makes her spine go rigid. It looks like a monster. It looks like her.

"We aren't so different after all, are we?" Regina shakes her head. The mirror cocks it own head to the side slightly, its expression unreadable. "So Regina, what are you going to do now?"

The answer is obvious, her eyes grow dark as her lips form the words.

"Make them pay."

**Authors Note: If anyone was confused about the whole "cold" thing in the end, that was the curse. The mirror did enact a curse on Regina that turned her evil. It made her angry, fearful, jealous, untrusting, and hateful. She's pretty much the Evil Queen again. Please Review! It makes me want to write more!**


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